Here's something a new little babies!

This past week I was haunted by west coast gangster rap. Everywhere I turned I got hit in the face with NWA. Quite frankly, I've never been a fan but at one point I thought...God is trying to tell me something. (I get divine messages through early 90s hip hop)

So after finally having enough with being phonically assaulted, I turned to one of my dearest friends Matt Ford (most widely known as Project Matt) and asked him WHAT'S UP WITH THIS?

But seriously. He had such knowledgeable and interesting things to say that I decided that I thought I should probably share it. If it's all right with you all, I think I may do this more often.

We: GOOD MORNING MATT! What are your thoughts on gangster rap?
Btw. I’m posting this conversation on my blog.
Matt: You’re asking me?
Yeah.
I think it’s getting boring.
I mean like NWA era gangster rap.
Amazing.
See I'm not a fan. But I feel I may be missing something.
I listened to straightedge hardcore when people were listening to NWA.
For me its the beat primarily that irks me. I can’t get down with it.
I was listening to En Vogue then.
Ha. Anyways, yeah it was def more a RAW sound. Not as produced.
Yeah definitely.
The money wasn’t there to fully develop. It was made for the streets. Not the club.
I think I miss some appreciation for things since I'm really heavily dance/beat oriented. That’s what my ear hears. So I wonder...what does your ear hear, since you do like it. Are you listening to the words?
I listen to the lyrics and the production. I appreciate where it all came from. The roots if you will. I've always been more about the beat and the sound.
What do you mean when you say the production. You’re listening to how it's made? Is that what you mean?
I'm talking about the final product. And the era of production. The tools used. Now there are countless tools used to produce music. Don’t even need instruments anymore. Today producers have all the tools in the world. I think a lot more love went into it then. Now a days, anyone and everyone makes hits.

So does that make for more boring music? I mean. It creates an over-saturated market?
The market now is garbage. Look at snap music.
What’s snap music?
Snap is like "Snap Yo Fingaz". All the snap music. D4L. Shit like that.
Right.
It’s just made to make a dollar. NWA was a story telling group and were telling a story in a way that no one had done before.
Then where do you think all those storytellers have gone? And why do you think there’s so little popular interest now in that?
People made money. Times change. People made money and moved on...or as Eazy did...he died.
And now they just want to...snap their fingers so to speak. (HA)
I think people really don’t care about anything but having it sound hot. Look at songs that rip the charts. This is why I'm hot? It’s all about money now. Make it rain?

Right. But so in the past rap music has been about…struggling...right?
Yup.
And it seems now it’s about being on top.
Now its like the struggle ended...well at least for the rapper.
About balling out...etc.
Yup. Exactly. Not even about skills anymore. It used to be about being a nice rapper. Now it’s about what truck you whip. How much ice is on your neck.
Well if this music (at least the way I see) is the art form and literally the voice of the people…if what’s coming out now is any reflection of "the people" then people are doing pretty damn well...or maybe people are ignoring their problems??
People learned. In the beginning, no one knew record companies were screwing them. Then people started realizing that the owners of these labels were balling out.
Right. So then they themselves started to ball out as well?
Now it’s a lot of indie rap killing it and dudes are BALLING.

But why do the indie rappers get so little attention. I think my point is, why the shift in the listeners? Can people no longer feel for the struggling guy?
The indie guys don’t have the money to spend on advertising
Ohhh
Double edged sword. A lot of people started on a major, made a little bread then started their own label.
Record sales don’t mean anything?
Record sales mean $$$. But if no one knows you made the record, what’s the point?
It’s kind of scary when you delve into it...the record industry seems as if its grown to titanic proportions...such a monopoly almost...its just a joke to think an average joe can really compete in the market.

Yeah. Myspace is helping so many little guys do their thing.
I think the Internet is really amazing. (understatement of the year haha.)
Ha. It truly is.
But seriously that’s come up a lot with all different types of people I’ve talked to; how the Internet has changed or shaped and helped their cause.
It helped me personally. That’s for sure.
How so?
Well when I joined myspace, you couldn’t change your top friends. And since I signed on so early I was everyone’s top friend so I was on everyone’s front page.
Hahahah yes you were my top friend for so long.
Exactly.
But I moved that shit so quickly as soon as I could ("ew matt. get off my page.")
jajajahaahaha
So that helped promote your music?
Yeah because of that, it generated a buzz. Like "who is project matt"?? Totally... and my posts had a lot of exclamation points. Made it sound fun!
And you are.
Promise and deliver.
Exactly. It’s hard though. Not as easy as you may think.

So. Are you making music now because you’re mostly inspired or because you’re mostly disappointed and want to change things?
A little of both. I make music because its fun and I can make music that I LIKE. And I'm really disappointed in the lack of good shit coming out. Even Three 6 Mafia is getting watered down. Money ruins everything.
Yeah. So where are you getting your inspiration to keep doing it?
I do what I do. Been doing it.
It must be hard then to pull on your creativity so much then.
Kind of. its like will i ever see a pay off? Hahah. I mean who wouldn’t love to make money doing what they love doing? But the minute you start making money everything changes.

That’s like I said before. About the record industry being so gigantic and impenetrable.
Yeah. New friends, new money, new rules.
It has a price. I think it just has to do with how much give you have to give to get that take.
Totally has a price. I just take it gig by gig. I'm not trying to get rich and famous. I just wanna play music for people and be able to put food on my plate. I still have a day job ya know.
Yeah. that seems like you don’t have a lot of give then. But that’s good I think. You'll decide and control what you’re putting your name on.
Exactly. I don’t have anyone telling me what to do or not do. Which is good and bad. I make a lot of bad decision. Hahha. But it's all a lesson learned..
Yeah this is only your first life. You’ve never done anything you’ve done before. So who the fuck knows. It's all learning.
All I know is that I love playing music for people. I've been doing since I was 9.
I was 3 when you were 9.
Shit.

Q AND A TIME YA'LL!

Dear WeAreVeryWell,

SOOOOO, here's a question to ponder.
What do you do when people pose questions or make statements with an obviously wrong assumption about your character underneath it? Such as, "If you are looking to fight me I am not going to." When that's not what I am thinking. Or assumptions in general that have to do with physical appearance rather than character? I hate those the most. Or distant judgments based on things other than real communication, which generally, is surprisingly banal.

Hearts.


Dear Hearts,

Let me say this first: my initial reaction when I hear someone who runs into a lot of people that have a problem with or have things to say about the way they dress or the way they look, that person usually dresses, looks, acts, etc. in a way that tends to attracts said attention. This eye-catching sort can either be good or bad. Either way if you have the guts to go after your flare with such gusto, then more power to you and to hell with the haters.

Now, the thing that catches my eye about your particular problem is the example of "If you are looking to fight me I am not going to." At first I read that as "If you're looking to fight me I'm going to". I think due to my mild dyslexia, combined with the fact that I’ve heard that statement so many times come out of a drunk d-bag's mouth directed toward the most easily spotted, most flamboyant person in the room (this is usually based on looks)...and I just assumed that you were one such person. But rereading it I see it doesn't say that at all. Instead, it would seem as if you were the d-bag in this scenario, instigating a fight. So I ask, are you a d-bag?

I assume since you read this highly esteemed blog that you are not. That then leaves an interesting alternative.

It seems like if someone has to say to you that they aren't going to fight you, something you did or said must have led them to believe you were going to hurt them. Although I've seen some pretty brolic dudes that I was convinced were just looking for someone to eat as a snack, it's rare that someone would just go up to them because they looked tough and proclaimed they were not interested in fighting. It just doesn't make sense.

Maybe you're coming off more abrasive than you think. It could be that you've had a lot of people pick on you or people make snap judgments about you and now you have become a lot more bristly over the years, just expecting these reactions from everyone now.

My point is this: It seems as if you may have turned the tables and are judging that others are going to automatically receive you negatively. It may be the case that people are really being ignorant towards you, but as long as you feel cool with yourself try not to let it get to you, or you'll just end up holding on to all of that. No good.

OH YEAH!

I'm also on the space.

please freind me.

http://www.myspace.com/weareverywellthankyou

love and sunshine.

Hi Guys!!

How'd you like that last post!?!? Pretty rad huh???

Now listen, I feel like I've been on some sort of hellish job interview. I've bitten my preverbial nails to the preverbial quick. Have I passed the test? Will someone please write to me now? For crying out loud.

Perhaps you forgot my email address?? Allow me to oblige: weareverywellthankyou@yahoo.com !!!

Perhaps you forgot that it was completely anonymous!?!?!? Well, IT'S COMPLETELZY ANONYMOUS.


c'mon guys. if you love me, you'll dump all your sadness onto me.

xoxStephanie

whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

or something like that.



I think I've lived in NY for close to 7 years now. A lot has changed. Come and gone. Friends, hangouts, school, jobs, apartments, pets. One thing that has been consistent though has been my sister. She and I moved here at the same time and, being the older sibling, has cared for me like a little lost baby duck when need be. She cooks for me, has premium cable, and let's me sleep at her house when I don't want to sleep at mine.

But all things, as they say, come to an end. She's moving in a month. At the core, I couldn't be happier for her. She's one of the few people I know that deserves nothing but happiness. And now she's found it....in TEXAS.

So where does that leave me? What about me? What's to become of ME? Who's going to make me Thanksgiving dinner??? I swear some people just don't think.

I was trying to think about this logically, like, "Stephanie, you've had people move away before. It'll be alright." But no. I haven't. I've always been the one to move. And then that just lead into a whole discourse with myself of whether I was a gypsy...but I'll leave that for a later date.

Anyways.

Other than wondering who's going to make mac n' cheese and watch The Santa Clause with me (and all the other things I would never admit to indulging in for fear of ruining my uber-cool rep), I've been thinking, who's going to be the person I hang out with when I don't want to be alone but I can't be muster an ounce of social prowess? Who's going to sit on the couch with me and not talk? Who'll be the person when I'm completely lost that's bigger, smarter, wiser, and wittier that'll show me the way (most times without saying a thing).

Of course, most of this could be accomplished by picking up the phone, but a girl only has so many minutes. What's more, one becomes a little too aware of the lack of chat when there's something on your face that you're required to talk into. Sitting on the couch in silence doesn't incur nearly as much awareness of one's pitiful lack of verve as sitting on the phone in silence does.

Bu the bottom line is this: I DONT WANT A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SISTER. I'm throwing a mental temper tantrum here. You must understand, we weren't raised together and we've never lived together. We were always close, but the past 7 years have been like a dream to me. When I was a kid I would visit my dad and my sister during the summer. I absolutely idolized her. I would have 2 months of getting to just be around her and basically learn what life was like 6 years in the future. She was the end-all-be-all of what was what in the world. And now our time here has basically been an extension of that. Being around her, having her available to me pretty much whenever I want has been like having my own personal yogi down the block. If ever I'm feeling down on myself, I just think...ok where was sis at this stage? Or, what's sis doing with her life? Depending on the answer I either chill the hell out or kick my ass into gear. She's a dipstick kind of.

By the way. I don't, nor have I ever referred to my sister as "sis". I choose to do so here solely for anonymity.

So, when she first told me I wasn't as affected as this. I reasoned that I knew this was coming. It only made sense. They were in love, he lives in Houston, she's able to work from home, he's not...a + b + c + d= I'm kidnapping your sister. And, oh. She loves Texas. (who doesn't?!?!)

So yeah I was a little sad, but for the most part I was just happy she was happy. But now the date is practically upon us and I don’t know how happy I am. I feel as if my life is going to turn into one of those AT&T commercials where the sisters call each other up once a month and laugh and talk for like 4 hours about their husbands and babies and then hang up and go on about their day. Cue the weepy music. That's not me and my sister. The beauty of our relationship is that we don't talk. And when we do it's always some nonsensical joke that comes out of nowhere that makes us laugh hysterically for about 20-25 minutes...and then we go back to watching The Santa Clause.

But mostly, having her close I've been able to learn by seeing. As subtle (and creepy) as it may be, I've used my sister as a model for how I handle pretty much any situation. I just watch her. Like a hawk. How is that going to work when she's across the country? I just don't know if it will. I'm losing my spirit guide.

I'm currently reading A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. Seriously, an excellent book. There's been so much to it that's touched my heart and I've found so relevant, so I wasn't surprised that while in the midst of my fit about my sister I read something that really helped to give me a little perspective.

"In fact, that is the central theme of my story: loss. But isn't it the same with all life stories? Loss is essential. Loss is part and parcel of that necessary calamity called life. Mind you, I'm not complaining. Thanks to some inexplicable universal guiding force, it is always the worthless things we lose- slough off, like a molting snake. Losing and losing again, is the very basis of the life process. Until we are left with the bare essence of human existence."

Now, I don't think my sister is worthless, but it did make me think that maybe I don't need my spirit guide as close as I thought I did. At least not anymore. After all, where's my sister's older sister? Nowhere.

It all goes together with all the things I've been thinking lately. I'm trying to worry less and less about this idea of "What will become of me???" I'm not mentally handicapped or lazy or completely intolerable. I do however have a knack for not giving myself enough credit and I think that ought to stop. I got myself to where I am now which is a pretty alright place, and maybe ok NO, I haven't had to deal with a sister moving away, but there have been other bumps.
And I housed those bitches.