Q AND A TIME YA'LL!
Dear WeAreVeryWell,
SOOOOO, here's a question to ponder.
What do you do when people pose questions or make statements with an obviously wrong assumption about your character underneath it? Such as, "If you are looking to fight me I am not going to." When that's not what I am thinking. Or assumptions in general that have to do with physical appearance rather than character? I hate those the most. Or distant judgments based on things other than real communication, which generally, is surprisingly banal.
Hearts.
Dear Hearts,
Let me say this first: my initial reaction when I hear someone who runs into a lot of people that have a problem with or have things to say about the way they dress or the way they look, that person usually dresses, looks, acts, etc. in a way that tends to attracts said attention. This eye-catching sort can either be good or bad. Either way if you have the guts to go after your flare with such gusto, then more power to you and to hell with the haters.
Now, the thing that catches my eye about your particular problem is the example of "If you are looking to fight me I am not going to." At first I read that as "If you're looking to fight me I'm going to". I think due to my mild dyslexia, combined with the fact that I’ve heard that statement so many times come out of a drunk d-bag's mouth directed toward the most easily spotted, most flamboyant person in the room (this is usually based on looks)...and I just assumed that you were one such person. But rereading it I see it doesn't say that at all. Instead, it would seem as if you were the d-bag in this scenario, instigating a fight. So I ask, are you a d-bag?
I assume since you read this highly esteemed blog that you are not. That then leaves an interesting alternative.
It seems like if someone has to say to you that they aren't going to fight you, something you did or said must have led them to believe you were going to hurt them. Although I've seen some pretty brolic dudes that I was convinced were just looking for someone to eat as a snack, it's rare that someone would just go up to them because they looked tough and proclaimed they were not interested in fighting. It just doesn't make sense.
Maybe you're coming off more abrasive than you think. It could be that you've had a lot of people pick on you or people make snap judgments about you and now you have become a lot more bristly over the years, just expecting these reactions from everyone now.
My point is this: It seems as if you may have turned the tables and are judging that others are going to automatically receive you negatively. It may be the case that people are really being ignorant towards you, but as long as you feel cool with yourself try not to let it get to you, or you'll just end up holding on to all of that. No good.
Dear WeAreVeryWell,
SOOOOO, here's a question to ponder.
What do you do when people pose questions or make statements with an obviously wrong assumption about your character underneath it? Such as, "If you are looking to fight me I am not going to." When that's not what I am thinking. Or assumptions in general that have to do with physical appearance rather than character? I hate those the most. Or distant judgments based on things other than real communication, which generally, is surprisingly banal.
Hearts.
Dear Hearts,
Let me say this first: my initial reaction when I hear someone who runs into a lot of people that have a problem with or have things to say about the way they dress or the way they look, that person usually dresses, looks, acts, etc. in a way that tends to attracts said attention. This eye-catching sort can either be good or bad. Either way if you have the guts to go after your flare with such gusto, then more power to you and to hell with the haters.
Now, the thing that catches my eye about your particular problem is the example of "If you are looking to fight me I am not going to." At first I read that as "If you're looking to fight me I'm going to". I think due to my mild dyslexia, combined with the fact that I’ve heard that statement so many times come out of a drunk d-bag's mouth directed toward the most easily spotted, most flamboyant person in the room (this is usually based on looks)...and I just assumed that you were one such person. But rereading it I see it doesn't say that at all. Instead, it would seem as if you were the d-bag in this scenario, instigating a fight. So I ask, are you a d-bag?
I assume since you read this highly esteemed blog that you are not. That then leaves an interesting alternative.
It seems like if someone has to say to you that they aren't going to fight you, something you did or said must have led them to believe you were going to hurt them. Although I've seen some pretty brolic dudes that I was convinced were just looking for someone to eat as a snack, it's rare that someone would just go up to them because they looked tough and proclaimed they were not interested in fighting. It just doesn't make sense.
Maybe you're coming off more abrasive than you think. It could be that you've had a lot of people pick on you or people make snap judgments about you and now you have become a lot more bristly over the years, just expecting these reactions from everyone now.
My point is this: It seems as if you may have turned the tables and are judging that others are going to automatically receive you negatively. It may be the case that people are really being ignorant towards you, but as long as you feel cool with yourself try not to let it get to you, or you'll just end up holding on to all of that. No good.
posted by hi at 1:17 PM
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