Monday, June 15, 2009

Dear Stephanie
I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year. The time with her has been so easy and great. We get along great and I'm pretty happy. The relationship is easy and laidback. Our one year anniversary is coming up and I'm thinking about telling her that I'd like to move in with her. She's made it clear that she wants to move in and I know she'd be into the idea, but I just want to make sure the time is right and that our anniversary is the right time to bring it up.

Sincerely
Ready & Waiting

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Dear Ready & Waiting
Congrats on having what sounds like a wonderful relationship! There was something about the succinctness with which you described the relationship that imparts an atmoshpere of ease and clarity.
As for whether it's the right time, I say of course: if you're ready and you know she is too I think this will be a decision that will be surrounded by light and joy. It seems though as if you're wondering if this ought to be your gift or not.

I have to say not.

While definitely the right time, that isn't the right vehicle. You and she are joining your lives and it shouldn't be looked as a concession or anything like that. If so the whole decision takes on a slight sacrificial tone at the least, a slight ego-maniacal quality at most.

However I do think your anniversary is a good time to bring it up and great way to be quite romantic. To start I think that you can just reiterate what you wrote to me and let her know that this is an easy and logical choice for you.

Perhaps something like this: 'Today we've been together a year and when I really think about that, I realize our relationship has been easy for us and the time has really flown by. Knowing this and trusting how we've handled the last year and everything that's come up makes any of the anxiety or apprehension I have sort of go away. I'd love to move forward with you and if you're still interested I'd love to start looking for a place to live together.'

Or something like that. Whatever you do just don't be a Glen Gulia.


Yikes.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

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For everyone out there - let me know what you think! Ladies, would you want your guy to combine something like this on a big day or save it for another to make a new anniversary? Guys, have any great stories about these big steps that you maybe messed up a bit?? Let me know!

1 Comments:

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