The time that passes between posts seems to be growing and growing and this time I have no excuse. Sure, I could blame it on what seems to have been the death of misfortune, but why pass the buck? And instead of mourning the loss of the lost, I would like to celebrate. Isn't that amazing?! I mean, boy did I pick the wrong hobby to take up, but what's one broken dream compared to all the world's happiness? You have to break a few eggs...etc etc.

Side note: Speaking of eggs, I was in the grocery store yesterday and they had quail eggs. Nevermind that a few months back I was completely let down by the very same supermarket in my search for Lil' Smokies™. Something is wrong with this.

Anyways
I'm just happy I could be there to tie up the last few ends, helping along those last stragglers. What timing.

However, I must say I feel a little left out. I guess I was too busy worrying about other people to read the memo that the age of vexation was coming to a close and I should wrap it up.

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I suppose that kind of cuts to my point (or problem...jeez they're EVERYWHERE.). It's hard to work on your own problems when you help others, obviously. But I've realized something that furthers that idea: Not only is it hard to think about your issues, it's actually easy to think you're totally alright and devoid of strife when you're an advice giver…because obviously I have it all figured out. How dangerous.

Recently a friend asked me, or rather told me that they were intrigued as to why I would choose to have such a column. Whether they were alluding to the fact that they think I'm a hack, I cannot say. Although, it did get me thinking: why deal in other people's demons when you have so many to handle yourself? Could I quite possibly be any more in denial? Nope.

Of course this isn’t the first time this thought has crossed my mind, but since the answer I arrive at is rather unsavory I usually push away this particular introspection in lieu of more favorable ones...like how excellent my shoes are.

Funny I would choose to say it like that.

Sometimes there's an angry charging bulltigerhurricanelandlsidetsunamiavalanche coming straight at you. And then say you look down at your shoes in order to admire them one last time before your eminent demise, and you notice they’re untied. Isn't it easier (and wiser) to stoop down and tie it before dealing with the aforementioned combatant? And my how you tie that shoe. Never has a lace been twined with such care. Actually, maybe you should just go ahead and relace the whole thing; just to make sure everything's even. Now that you're looking at it you realize that you need a whole new pair of shoes! How did you not notice this before?! Well, this is a whole other issue entirely and of course it requires immediate attention. That raging crazy animal natural disaster thing will just have to wait.

And so it goes.

I suppose my challenge will be to balance these things.

They say one of the first rules of psychology is to not destroy the fourth wall. Meaning not to ever use the "I", never share problems. This apparently keeps the focus and the brainpower, both your and their, on your subject's issues. I have been attempting to adhere to this as much I can. But seeing as though I'm not going to be a psychologist anytime soon and I have shit to work out...and it's my corner of the internet, I'm going to flip the switch and pretty much do the mental equivalent of a table dance. Everybody look at ME.

So you'll be hearing a lot more of my own issues. And who knows. Maybe it'll bring those shy little rabbits that have been so sweet to compliment me on my blogging, but have been too timid to ask those questions they've only just hinted at, for fear of being so exposed. (gasp)

You are not alone. I too am just barely keeping my head above the waters...only to spy the next crashing wave.



****Thank you Dave Chappelle for one of many jokes that NEVER gets old