Dear Stephanie,
What's up with dudes? why are they always trying to purposely piss me
off?
last night i had one say to me "its entertaining, i just really want to
push your buttons"
now, i know that if i give a great reaction, it will warrant more
"button pushing," but honestly, i don't feel my reaction to his
incessant teasing was so off-par with a normal reaction that blame
should rest in my corner.
this dude was one of those "give 'em a hard time and they'll like you
more" dudes. and why does this work? i wasn't falling all over him, but
the rest of the party was. i mean, at one point, he was sitting on a
couch with two girls on either side of him, AND a girl on his lap. W T
F. seriously! he wasn't the best dude. i am the best girl. i don't get
it.
i mean, what does a girl have to do to get a bone around here?
(literally!)
i just feel like, why can dudes play the ultimate asshole card and
still have girls lining up to suck their dicks?
gah!
another example. last week i had a guy (a guy i've known for probably a
year and only really see out. one of those "i know we'll hook-up one
day" sort-of-types. you know?
anyways, we've been getting close to that point lately. but we're
sitting down at a bar, having a conversation, and i'm like "but why did
you send me that email that just basically insulted me" and he's all
"because i have to be an asshole. if i'm nice to you, you won't want to
talk to me anymore."
i'm sorry, what??! is this really true? why why why? if i am a mega
bitch people just run away. was the world really made for men? and why
can't i seem to figure out how to play the system?
i need help!
thanks in advance,
Too Many Buttons (?)
Dear Buttons McGee,
Step One:
Stop caring.
Step Two:
Aim higher
If only it were that easy, right?
So, you feel like you're spinning your wheels? Not getting anywhere?? Never making any headway???
Well...you aren't. So, why still dedicate your time?
I don't doubt that your reaction wasn't far off from how any other girl would react..but maybe other girls are wasting their time as well.
Something about the situation isn't working out for you. And I really don't think the whole problem is "what's up with dudes?". It's more "what's up with those dudes and what's so special about them and why do you even care????".
If you'd really like to fix the problem, I'd stop aiming low.
Granted, you're attracted to who you're attracted to and sometimes a certain type comes along with certain faults...I personally go for the ridiculously beautiful, outrageously wealthy, international party hopping set. However, these tend to come along with a rather exhausting schedule.
Le sigh..
BUT, since I've chosen to go after this particular coterie, I suck it up and just catch up on my zzzzz on the concord.
So, correspondingly, if you want to go for the jerky boys, acknowledge that you are going for the jerky boys and don't expect them to be knights in shining armor.
You can't make a pile of shit sparkle like a diamond, as they say.
So, stop exhausting yourself with these guys that insist on tormenting you or stop exhausting yourself with trying to recondition them. They are who they are.
Only YOU can prevent forest fires.
Make of that what you will.
What's up with dudes? why are they always trying to purposely piss me
off?
last night i had one say to me "its entertaining, i just really want to
push your buttons"
now, i know that if i give a great reaction, it will warrant more
"button pushing," but honestly, i don't feel my reaction to his
incessant teasing was so off-par with a normal reaction that blame
should rest in my corner.
this dude was one of those "give 'em a hard time and they'll like you
more" dudes. and why does this work? i wasn't falling all over him, but
the rest of the party was. i mean, at one point, he was sitting on a
couch with two girls on either side of him, AND a girl on his lap. W T
F. seriously! he wasn't the best dude. i am the best girl. i don't get
it.
i mean, what does a girl have to do to get a bone around here?
(literally!)
i just feel like, why can dudes play the ultimate asshole card and
still have girls lining up to suck their dicks?
gah!
another example. last week i had a guy (a guy i've known for probably a
year and only really see out. one of those "i know we'll hook-up one
day" sort-of-types. you know?
anyways, we've been getting close to that point lately. but we're
sitting down at a bar, having a conversation, and i'm like "but why did
you send me that email that just basically insulted me" and he's all
"because i have to be an asshole. if i'm nice to you, you won't want to
talk to me anymore."
i'm sorry, what??! is this really true? why why why? if i am a mega
bitch people just run away. was the world really made for men? and why
can't i seem to figure out how to play the system?
i need help!
thanks in advance,
Too Many Buttons (?)
Dear Buttons McGee,
Step One:
Stop caring.
Step Two:
Aim higher
If only it were that easy, right?
So, you feel like you're spinning your wheels? Not getting anywhere?? Never making any headway???
Well...you aren't. So, why still dedicate your time?
I don't doubt that your reaction wasn't far off from how any other girl would react..but maybe other girls are wasting their time as well.
Something about the situation isn't working out for you. And I really don't think the whole problem is "what's up with dudes?". It's more "what's up with those dudes and what's so special about them and why do you even care????".
If you'd really like to fix the problem, I'd stop aiming low.
Granted, you're attracted to who you're attracted to and sometimes a certain type comes along with certain faults...I personally go for the ridiculously beautiful, outrageously wealthy, international party hopping set. However, these tend to come along with a rather exhausting schedule.
Le sigh..
BUT, since I've chosen to go after this particular coterie, I suck it up and just catch up on my zzzzz on the concord.
So, correspondingly, if you want to go for the jerky boys, acknowledge that you are going for the jerky boys and don't expect them to be knights in shining armor.
You can't make a pile of shit sparkle like a diamond, as they say.
So, stop exhausting yourself with these guys that insist on tormenting you or stop exhausting yourself with trying to recondition them. They are who they are.
Only YOU can prevent forest fires.
Make of that what you will.
posted by hi at 6:24 PM
2 Comments:
First of all, ALL guys are assholes, they just come in varying gradations.
The worst assholes are the ones who are seeminingly into you for a while, being chivalrous, taking you out for fun fun fun.
Then, they slowly start to lose interest because you are more than they are. You want a commitment. You want him to tell you that you are special and that they love you, but you have to ask for them to do that, which is so lame. They want to hang out with the boys. They want to find attention from other girls because they are so self-conscious and have little self-esteem. They find that by being surrounded by other girls and getting their attention and being out all of the time. They pretend to care but the are PRETENDING. They will never commit.
And you end up wondering what happened and why this guy is so lame and if it was you -- guy was gorgeous, SEEMED confident, had so much fun together, etc. -- when it is really them. These are the ones to be on an eye out for. These are the ones that can destroy you if you have a weak heart. This issue is how you decipher these ones early and get out before it's too late.
The best assholes are the ones described in the email. They let you know up front that they are just assholes. Plain and simple. These ones, no matter how pretty, must be left alone. So, in a way, be grateful that you found this out earlier rather that later. You had a connection, sure, but he's an asshole. If you treat him nicely and sleep with him, sure, he'll be nice, because he's an asshole. He's just a larger asshole than others.
Here Here!
Although I don't think that all guys are assholes, there are a lot out there that are very irresponsible. Do watch out for these shifty, reckless babies. They're babies in men's clothing and BOY are they dangerous.
xoS
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