Dear Stephanie
I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year. The time with her has been so easy and great. We get along great and I'm pretty happy. The relationship is easy and laidback. Our one year anniversary is coming up and I'm thinking about telling her that I'd like to move in with her. She's made it clear that she wants to move in and I know she'd be into the idea, but I just want to make sure the time is right and that our anniversary is the right time to bring it up.

Sincerely
Ready & Waiting

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Dear Ready & Waiting
Congrats on having what sounds like a wonderful relationship! There was something about the succinctness with which you described the relationship that imparts an atmoshpere of ease and clarity.
As for whether it's the right time, I say of course: if you're ready and you know she is too I think this will be a decision that will be surrounded by light and joy. It seems though as if you're wondering if this ought to be your gift or not.

I have to say not.

While definitely the right time, that isn't the right vehicle. You and she are joining your lives and it shouldn't be looked as a concession or anything like that. If so the whole decision takes on a slight sacrificial tone at the least, a slight ego-maniacal quality at most.

However I do think your anniversary is a good time to bring it up and great way to be quite romantic. To start I think that you can just reiterate what you wrote to me and let her know that this is an easy and logical choice for you.

Perhaps something like this: 'Today we've been together a year and when I really think about that, I realize our relationship has been easy for us and the time has really flown by. Knowing this and trusting how we've handled the last year and everything that's come up makes any of the anxiety or apprehension I have sort of go away. I'd love to move forward with you and if you're still interested I'd love to start looking for a place to live together.'

Or something like that. Whatever you do just don't be a Glen Gulia.


Yikes.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

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For everyone out there - let me know what you think! Ladies, would you want your guy to combine something like this on a big day or save it for another to make a new anniversary? Guys, have any great stories about these big steps that you maybe messed up a bit?? Let me know!

Something is amiss in the land of Blogger.

I do not see a title bar. Will this post even go through? Is this all for not? Probs.

So just to catch you all up who are possibly still following this blog: I'm doing medium-sized things!

I have a 27th birthday coming up. I was laid off earlier this year and in an effort to not go literally insane with the frenetic idleness of it all, I'm trying to make strides of my own. I applied for a grant for a documentary, I started the first chapter of 'my first book' (WEIRD), I started the first step in a very funny little booklet I'm making, and I sent in my radio show pitch (fingers crossed please).

All of these things feel like...well...hi it's about time! But I think that very idea is what has continuously stalled me to this day: the idea that I 'missed the boat'.

However, I was listening to This American Life the other day (of course) and there was a story a man was telling about his parents that had been recently laid off. He went to visit them shortly after and he had audio of his mother's answer when he asked the inevitble: Now what?

"Well, I always wanted to do a book on the unseen rooms at Versailles."

This was a woman who had for many, many years, been a sales associate at a jewelry retailer in the local mall. What creativity! What balls, really is the first thing I thought.

...after I stopped crying, that is.

I won't say that this immediately inspired me to light the fire and take on the world. I have super intrusive and gripping issues with self-actualizing, going after what I want without fear, and just generally knowing what that even is. But I think for the time being this woman is serving as a little nugget of proof that my current idea that it's 'too late', or that I look foolish taking on such projects that ought to have been explored at a younger age, is just wrong.

Says who!? Well. Says me.

But I can say other things! And today I say TODAY is a fine day to try.